My girlfriends sister is an alcoholic but won't admit it. Where can we turn to?

She has already had to spend one week in hospital because of liver trouble and now she won't eat. We think that if she doesn't get help soon the effects could kill her.

Everywhere we turn to we are told that they can not help unless she approach's them herself yet all she wants to do is spend all day in bed.

She is never sober often drinking 3-4 bottles of wine and just won't leave the house. We have tried to arrange psychiatric help for her but she rings and cancels the appointments. Her mother has been to the hospital today to speak with her GP and although the doctor was quite alarmed but yet again he needs my girlfriend鈥檚 sister to visit before he can help.

My question is where or who can we turn to for advice? Can we get her committed as she is a danger to herself?

We have tried some other organisations such as Alcoholics Anonymous but again, she needs to take the initiative.

We are desperate for sensible advice! Thanks in advance.

Thanks for the quick response. Just so you are aware for your responses. She is 30 years old and has moved back in with her parents. We too thought it would be us that needed to help her get better. We have tried the loving approach. This just didn't help, if anything she just feels more comfortable doing what she is doing. We have tried the hard approach too.... more recently. It seems as though she resents for doing this and drinks more!

AA

You would have to go to court--probably her mother--would have to petition the court to get her power of attorney. It would be VERY hard to do. It would have to be proven to the court that the woman is a danger to herself (and/or to others) to have her committed.
To be honest with you, if she doesn't want help, there's very little that can be done. That is her right. You can't be forced to do things you don't want to do. And she has the right to drink herself to death if she wants to. It's easy to say, "Oh if it were me, I would hope my family would commit me and get me help." But when it's you, believe me, that is NOT how you feel. You want people to leave you alone so that you can drink. And she does have that right.
The mother needs to see an attorney/barrister (you sound like you are in the UK?) and see what the mother can do legally--against the daughter's wishes. The lawyer can tell her exactly what can....and cannot be done.
That is the mother's ONLY option.
Best wishes to you all.

Ala non or alateen offers great help for the people on the sidelines they teach you with how to deal with living and loving a person that is an alcoholic they are very supportive and understand what your going through GOOD LUCK

Try Al-Anon, or soberrecovery.com to start with.

If she's an adult, you can't stop her. Believe me, I've tried on a number of friends to stop them and just ended up heartsick and disgusted.

Sometimes you just have to turn your back on them and take care of yourself before you get so stressed out that you get sick too.

sounds like you have tried everything you can without her wanting to do anything. i personally would try to have her committed but it is a big thing and a lot of people would be against you doing that so you all need to sit down and decide if you can handle the backlash.
i understand the situation you are in, my uncle was on drink and drugs for years and every one tried to help him - he died alone on a park bench from an OD (he knew what he was doing),
at the end of the day not everyone wants help but if you love them you have to try.

how is she getting the booze? if she is in bed all day then someone must be buying it for her so tell them to stop buying it. the rest is in her hands.

theres an organization called all- anon for relatives of alcoholics, i would contact them and they will help

Since she won't leave the house, try a home intervention. Some churches offer his. Also, one problem for an alcoholic is that fear of having to go alone. She needs to have a strong support group with her when she does go for help. Also, if she does not leave the house... how is she getting all that wine and who is paying? It sounds like someone is enabling her.

If you are in the UK then go to Al Anon. They are specifically there for the families of alcoholics - even those who deny having a problem. They were brilliant to me when I was married to an alcoholic. They do not judge, they will listen to all your concerns and give advice wherever possible. As with all of these things, nothing will ever really be done until your girlfriend's sister admits she has a problem and voluntarily seeks help. This is unfortunate, but very, very true. All the rest of the family can do is offer support when she does do this, keep alcohol out of the house so she doesn't have an easy supply (even if she only has to go to the shop on the corner!) and make sure you all keep all valuables locked away or with you at all times. Alcoholics, just like drug addicts and compulsive gamblers, etc. will steal to get their next drink, only if it is from family they will tell themselves it is "only borrowing".

My heart goes out to you - the family is in for a very bumpy ride!

how about the pub??

I was just like your girlfriends sister. Dependant on drink, refusing advice from family & professionals - I was in a mess!
However,one day I thought enough is enough. I contacted my GP and did a detox at home & she organised some alcohol counselling for me & I haven't had a drink for 18months. Life is so good now & I don't miss the demon drink - it caused me & the people around me too many problems.
Unfortunatley it doesn't sound as though this lady has got to the point where she wants to give up so no help you try to give her will do any good. She has got to want to do it for herself. The booze will kill her in the end if she doesn't stop but she has got to make her own mind up to do that and too accept help to stop & stay sober.
The best organisation I suggest you contact is ALANON. They will be able to support you & your girlfriends family through this difficult time.
Wishing you & the lady concerned all yhe very best x.