I can't get my partner to get treatment with his alcoholism even tho tonight he was spewing up blood?

I cancelled my earlier question as it appeared too flippant, but he will not go in to hospital, he signed himself out on Monday night. He has a bed in a psychiatric ward next week but I honestly don't think he will go or be sober enough to go. He has been in this situation before many times and on one occasion altho he was not spewing out blood, the doctor would not section him even tho' he was near death. That is how bad it is. He is delirious just now and I don't know what to do? He also has diabetes, and I am at my wits end to know how to get him off the drink. He can't even hold a glass now, and just keeps calling my name repeatedly. Has anyone gone thru this and can give me some advice?

I am only on the computer to get advice and to do something to drown out his delirium otherwise I may be tempted to drink myself and then we are both doomed. I am an alcoholic - sober for 3 years now and him for 2 years. I am devastated.

If he is delirious and he is diabetic then he needs treatment NOW. Call an ambulance or a doctor NOW and get him to hospital. Delirium in a diabetic could be very very serious and needs attention immediately, it may be the start of a diabetic coma.

As regards the alcoholism, getting medical attention for him is the best you can do for him. If you can do that, congratulations and well done.

From then on, it is up to him. You are not responsible for his addiction. Only he can turn this round and that won't happen until he is ready (if ever). You could help a little by avoiding situations that lead him to drink but that won't stop him. He needs to understand that he has a problem, to stop drinking, and really really want to do something about it, for himself.

I am sure I don't need to tell you that spewing blood is very bad. But that doesn't necessarily mean he is near death... he could go on doing that for some time. If he continues to drink there is worse to come.

Lastly, I want to congratulate you on having the strength to stay with him. You have done well. Good Luck

Do you know about a support group for family & friends of alcoholics called Al-Anon? They can help you.

Try to get him hooked on some pain medicine and maybe he'll forget about the alcohol.

Does he have family that you could call so that they could come over and help. He needs an intervention. Alcoholism and diabetes are not a good mix. I am surprised that you are even on the computer at the moment. Pour any alcohol left in his house down the drain for starters-and do it now. Call friends and family over now to help keep him under control and then maybe suggest taking turns makng sure he does not drink anymore, get him into AA, and checking in on him. Good luck and God Bless

No, I have not gone thru this,but I am pissed right now & I can tell you that no matter what you say, it wont make a difference to him until he decides for himself that he wants to stop drinking - no amount of persuasion will do otherwise.

Good luck to you & good luck to him.
xxx

is he detoxing or just drunk at this point? If he is delirous and unable to function and his alcohol level has dropped below his normal (if he isn't taking in alcohol tonight) he could start withdrawing. This can be very serious and result in seizures, hallucinations, cardiac arrest or death. If he is acutly withdrawing, take him to the nearest er for treatment. He can be held against his will due to his mental state. Good luck!

Yes. I 'Know a man' who's been there .....

If ye can get him onto that ward, they'll hit him with such a strong dose of Librium he'll think he's paralyctic anyway. He likely won't know much about the first few days ~ but then, it doesn't sound like he'll know much as it is?

Problem is, once they cut the dosage on the 'Good Stuff', he'll be straight back to cold turkey. And, if he's volantary, he'll simply demand they unlock that door and out he'll go, to the off lisence.

I suspect they won't section him because they don't give a damn. He drinks to that level and isn't willing to take the course? He'll die. NHS has more to think about than chronic suicide cases.

It most often takes an underlying misery to make someone drink to that degree. Sure, drink tastes nice. It even makes one feel nice - to a degree and a point. But to go through the social and personal barriers with it? To me, that signifies trying to bury some base, causative or aggravating issue.

The wards can't mend every broken soul. If he Wanted help to get off the drink, they'd provide that. Bare minimum, but it can be enough.

But he'd pass through hell on the way. A hell where there's no drink to soothe him. And, if he made it? He'd then have to continue to face what ever inner hell is making him do this to himself anyway. See how Both cycles need breaking?

Sorry. I guess that's not exactly what ye were looking for, is it? But that's how it is. Or was. For a man I once knew.

Being a former alcoholic yourself, I'm surprised you don't realise what you're doing. He WILL NOT seek the proper treatment until HE's good and ready, and he doesn't sound very close to that. What you're basically doing is supporting his behaviour, even if you aren't making him drink. It's obvious you love him, but you're fighting someone else's battle, and that never works. You're enabling him. Leave him at the psych ward and don't see him until he's straightened up, he'll end up taking you down with him.

Good luck.

They can't section him if he's not mentally ill. Alcohol abuse may be stupid but it's not categorised as a mental illness. More a lifestyle choice! In my experience alcohol abuse workers aren't always equipped to deal with mental illness and mental health workers are not always up on drink and drug abuse. It is always possible that he may not want to resolve his problems but simply getting mad at you because you can't get him even drunker.

Librium is like drink in a pill form, he'll be quite happy on that but they won''t give it for more than 3 weeks as it is really addictive.

I have a brother who is mentally ill and alcoholic and takes drugs. I've come to realise that he has been manipulating me into helping him maintain himself in this condition. I also have a son with schizophrenia and autism and I also get depressed. I took the decision that if I responded by cleaning up my brother and sorting his money out, he would simply use it to get even more drunk. The more I was involved the more I couldn't help my son and the more depressed I got. So it was a no-brainer. One down is bad enough, but three is a disaster. So I left him to his "friends" and the professionals, they can go home at night and switch off, whereas "carers" can't. Nothing much has changed except I'm happier, he's still getting drunk but as I don't give him cash, less money is going down the pan.

Tough as it seems, I suspect that if you weren't around to help, he wouldn't have managed to get himself into quite as bad a state. For example, in order to get cash and drink, one has to have the wherewith-all to get up, get dressed and go out. People can only get reclusive and abusive and permanently blind drunk with the help of others. Tough love - that's what I suggest. Salvage something of your own life and leave it to the pro's.

This is a really difficult situation for you. It has been said that an alcoholic has to realise that he is one and want help before anything can be done, but it sounds to me like your partner may need nursing care as well but is refusing it. Have you tried calling his GP again. If he has diebetes and is drinking alcohol in large amounts, he really needs to be careful of having a hyper, too much sugar in his blood. If he passes out you will have to call 999. Sounds like he does need professional intervention, but without being sectioned you cannot force him. Can you get a break away from the situation or is he relying on you to care for him. Be strong!

If you are tempted to drink then you need to take action. He won't stop drinking while you are working/ fetching benfits for him, providing him with a home, feeding him etc. You are in a nightmare situation but you don't have to be just because you may love him.
Give him a final ultimatum - if he doesnt do something this week to get himself sorted - professional help, cut back the drink to the minimum necessary, and then really take steps to get sober, then get yourself out of the realtionship and tell him to find you when he's been sober for 6 months. Have you got somewhere you could stay til you can get somewhere else to live? A friends floor maybe? Then you'd be technically homeless and the council would have to give you somewhere.
It's not abandoning him - hes on his way down and whatever you do or say just isn't having an effect. Don't let him take you
down aswell.
Maybe when he feels he's lost you through the drink, you can be the prize at the end of it and the reason for him to finally do something about it.

Best of luck